Harry, Ron and Hermione (in order of importance to the storyline) were wandering around the halls of Hogwarts in their usual ways, squabbling about their day's adventures and about all the magical, mystically mysterious happenings that always seemed to involve them in some way. They had just finished with their breakfast, which consisted of mystical, enchanted cornmeal that told them everything they ever wanted to know about anything.
They were all quite full, and were very temperamental, from the Cornmeal of Knowledge, so they were easily angered. When, who should appear but Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. Malfoy was in the middle because he was the leader, and he wished to confront Harry about something.
"Hey, Potter! Yer mom!" he sneered.
This angered Harry, Hermione, and Ron (in order of toy sales) quite a bit.
Ron's hair turned a malevolent hue of red, Hermione's started to bush out even more, and Harry revealed that he wore a toupee.
All at once, Hermione tackled Goyle, Ron seized Crabbe in a headlock, and Harry pounced on Malfoy. Hermione pulled out her wand out and began stabbing Goyle in the eyes with it. Ron attempted to break Crabbe's neck, but failed horribly. Crabbe was drooling quite profusely, as usual. Harry tore off Malfoy's nose with his teeth. Hermione's wand had broken, and Goyle was blinded, so she produced a hot poker and started prodding him over and over with it. Ron, frustrated at not being able to break Crabbe's neck, threw him to the ground and began to kick him. Harry chewed up Malfoy's nose and then forced Malfoy to eat it, then cupped his hand and slapped Malfoy by the ear, creating tremendous pressure in the ear canal and rupturing his left eardrum. Hermione was getting bored with the poker, so she set Crookshanks on Goyle. Crookshanks sliced Goyle up into pieces and then began piling them up and made a nice little castle out of Goyle's remains. Ron had broken Crabbe's ribcage good, and now his bones were piercing his lungs, making it difficult and painful to breathe. Ron sat down with Hermione. Harry, however, wasn't done with Malfoy. He took out a knife and started cutting Hermione's hair and then shoving her hair down Malfoy's throat. as he choked on Hermione's hair, Harry stamped down hard on Malfoy's neck, causing it to break. Malfoy was dead, so was Goyle, and Grabbe was suffering, not quite dead.
This time, none of the staff members realy cared. They just kept quiet, in fear of being attacked. The one teacher who didn't keep quiet, though, was Snape.
"Harry! You have done a travesty of a thing and for this, I hate you even more!"
Harry pulled out a gun and shot Snape in the forehead. Again, no one cared.
Hermione, Harry, and Ron set off in a westward direction, to add more to the plot.
The End
PART II
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking in a westward direction to add more to the plot, when suddenly all three of them fell off of a cliff. None of them had noticed the cliff. Directly below the cliff was a gigantic meat grinder, what ground them all up and then they were served for breakfast.
The End.
